Caller ID(iot)

Today, a customer called up and wanted to know: "Ano ba ang fax tone ninyo?" (What's your fax tone?). I felt an almost unbearable urge to reply: "Well, it sounds a little like this. Beeee-brrrr-dirrrrp..."

Later tonight, my mom advised me to answer (just a shade ruefully): "'Di ko magaya, e." (I can't quite copy it.) Hee! Mom, you rock.

Wine? What Wine?

Not much to report today...Ynee and I went to the 168 Mall to hunt for earring display racks - found them right off the bat and bought two; one small white one and one medium sized black one. (Found out when I got home that while the black display looks classier, the white display makes colors stand out more. So, yes, Ynee, you were right.)

Once we get back to the wine store, in waltzes the Most Memorable Customer of the Day, who asked us: "Tindahan ng alak ba 'to?" (Is this a wine store?) I had to duck in the office to laugh my ass off.

No strange color combinations today, though I was kind of busy churning out earrings* to actually pay much attention to the hordes of shoppers outside. I hear Monday is going to be a holiday which means Sunday will be particularly hellish in Divisoria. Good thing I don't have work then.

*Planning to start up a bead and crystal jewelry business. Wish me, Ynee and Betsy luck.

The Customer is Always Right...Unless They're Really Really Wrong.

Most of my customers know exactly what they want; some need a little sales talk, others need help making up their minds. Aaand...there are days when the customer already seems to be three sheets to the wind.

Case in point, the one really memorable customer I got today, who wanted "Red wine na white." or, for the non-Filipino language-enabled out there, "Red wine that's white (in color)." Hmm. Oddly enough, I don't believe I have any of that in stock.

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Strangest color combination seen on the streets of Divisoria today: Woman in maroon slacks and neon green t-shirt.

Toys 'R' -- Uh?

Went to New Divisoria Mall to source cheap toys for Ynee's sister-in-law's store. Whilst wandering around the stalls looking at sad imitations of Japanese robots/American action figures/Barbies, gimcrack novelties, lopsided stuffed toys, basketballs, and every single kind of pellet gun under the sun (as well as a whole bunch of those weird little plastic eggs I used to love collecting when I was a kid), I arrived at a burning question that I must remember to ask people who have actually watched the Fantastic Four movie.

"Does Michael Chiklis, The Thing, actually use two katana swords at any point in the film?"

I must remember to go back there and take a picture of that action figure...

For those of you who may think that most of these toys are all pretty sad, I must say in their defense that they're created for good clean fun. Unlike a certain stall in the 168 Shopping Mall I could mention that's filled with statues of hentai/pornographic Japanese anime schoolgirls...but's that's another post, for another day.

Make a suggestion, do.

Anyone who watches the news or picks up a newspaper must know about the current political situation in the Philippines. Our "glorious leader" is being pressured by practically everyone to resign: politicians, labor parties, NGOs; heck, even schools, religious Catholic splinter sects and the Church have much publicized their yea or nay to PGMA remaining in office.

I pass by LSGH, a private school, on my way to work, and they have this large billboard fronting the campus -- usually posted with messages like: "Graduate School of Business Now Accepting Enrollment for SY 2005-06" or "Congratulations to Juan dela Cruz 5th Grade for Winning Second Place in Phils Jr Karatedo Championship" or even "May Our Holidays Be Filled With Joy and Peace - Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to All" during the Yuletide season. For the past few days, the message on the board has been "Restore Faith in Democracy - Make the Supreme Sacrifice", a wake up call no doubt meant for the President.

However, I noticed today that this mesage had been moved up to make room for new announcements, so that the first four lines of the board now read: "Restore Faith in Democracy - Make the Supreme Sacrifice - Enrollment in Chinese Language Classes Starts ______ 2005". Taken out of context (and with thirteen years of mandatory Chinese lessons under my belt), this has got to be one of the strangest (and funniest!) supreme sacrifices I've ever heard suggested.

Not much weirdness in Divisoria today -- Sometimes I pass the time people-watching outside my store, trying to find a pair of pants with the oddest color and/or design. Today's was a tossup between burnt orange and pea green. >shudder.<

Sweet potato, anyone?

I work in a wine store in Divisoria and I must say, I've had some pretty weird requests from people who walk in and fail to recognize the merchandise surrounding them. They've asked for chinese medicine, vinegar, alcohol (the hospital and first-aid kind), and maraschino cherries. But the one my friend Ynee fielded today takes the cake.

A guy walks in and asks for kamote. Translated for the non-Filipino, a kamote is a sweet potato. Now I ask you, what self-respecting customer walks into a store filled with wine, softdrinks and bottled water expecting to find root crops just lying about, waiting to be sold? When Ynee, who could barely answer him for laughing, said we didn't have any, the guy looked puzzled and claimed that his boss (!!!) had phoned in the order. Good grief.

Ynee, manfully stifling laughter, helpfully suggested that perhaps what the guy's boss wanted was Don Quixote (a Spanish red wine that may, to the untrained ear, sound vaguely like kamote). The guy, however, insisted that he was sent to buy kamote and not wine. After being assured that nowhere, no way, no how, did we stock root crops amongst the wines and spirits, the guy left, never to return.

I wonder. Do wine stores in First World countries have these odd moments too?

Ma, it followed me home! Can I keep it?

Due to the bizarre and sometimes downright strange (which may include funny) things that happen to me during my days in Divisoria (the flea market of Manila), I've decided to get a blog in order to chronicle them, as they are obviously of more interest than the rest of what I, for want of a better term, call "my life".

However, a note to the Unwary Reader:

I will probably babble about my life anyway, since no one could possibly believe how frelling boring it actually can be -- I'll need some sort of record to prove it to them. Thus warned...